jmgoyder

wings and things

Dec 25

Christmas day with my husband, son and mother.

by jmgoyder

Ants, Ming, Meg and me.

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Thanks, Ma, for providing the turkey and the massive pavlova, and enabling us all to have a very cruisy day. Thanks, weather, for not being too hot. Thanks, God, for making today’s church service interesting and down-to-earth. Thanks, Anthony, for squeezing my hand on our way back to the nursing home and wiping my unexpected tears. Thanks, Ming, for being almost okay post-op. and for your humour. Thanks, extended family, for our wonderful night at Meg’s at Christmas Eve, my niece and husband’s homecoming, my brother’s homecoming (just last night!) Oh the list is getting too long so … to be continued ha!

Family Friendship Happiness LOVE STORY Parkinson's disease

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Dec 24

Twinkling

by jmgoyder

If I had to choose a single word to describe my first niece, I would use the word “twinkling”. She and her husband arrived last night from Scotland just in time for Christmas. They are going to live here now – yippee!

Late last night she got to see her own first niece for the first time. Do you see what I mean by “twinkling”. Actually in this picture both of them are twinkling!

Ashtyn and Neve

My first niece is also my god-daughter as well as being Ming’s cousin and god-mother. I have always been in awe of her ability to twinkle no matter what, and her homecoming is the best gift any of us could receive this Christmas. She is a vital cog in the machine of this family and her presence enables us all to twinkle with delight; when she smiles, her whole body smiles; when she enters a room, she exudes beauty, grace and hilarity. She is fun and laughter and I love her so much and can’t wait to see her tonight at my mother’s Christmas Eve party.

I feel very lucky to have this fantastic, twinkling niece – very lucky!

Family Friendship Happiness

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Dec 23

Police Matter – Dangerous Driving Charge

by jmgoyder

It was disconcerting to receive a forwarded email from Ming’s lawyer, with the police charges outlined, while he was still in hospital. I read through the document in my hotel room with my heart in my throat of course because the bare facts of what happened are stark and frightening for two reasons: 1. They are a reminder of that terrible night; and 2. They are damning of Ming – well of course they are, as they should be.

But to have to read the email heading (above) over and over again, in my several days of communication with the lawyer, stops my breath every time. My family have all provided character statements for Ming and the children are all recovering well however full recovery is still in the distance, both physically and psychologically and this, too, stops my breath.

The court date has now been set for mid-January so finally we will know what will happen to Ming in terms of his sentencing. I hope there will be leniency but, if not, we will just have to wear what comes next and it really doesn’t matter to Ming compared to his relief that the children will all eventually be all right.

But, as his mother, my hope is rather fragile and frantic that the judge will see that he is filled with remorse and will never ever do anything like this again. Ming has agreed to accompany the police to schools in the new year to warn other children and teenagers of the dangers of what he did. His message will be simple and now it is mine: never, ever, drive with people unsecured in the back of a ute (truck). Never!

Note: We were told in the hospital that the main reason for discharging patients early was because at Christmas they were inundated with emergency admissions of car accident victims.

Family Friendship Grief

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Dec 21

Ming’s reaction to yesterday’s post

by jmgoyder

Ming: You don’t seem to love me as much as I love you!
Me: Yes, I do, it’s just that the pain medications make you all touchy-feely and you STILL want my hand all the time!
Ming: What’s wrong with that?
Me: Nothing really – it’s just that I kind of need my hand back because I have to use both my hands to do the various chores. We’re home now and in a week or so you’ll be much better.
Ming: You don’t love me like you used to.
Me: You’re probably right. I read somewhere that in order for teenagers to leave the nest a certain amount of angst has to happen between parent and child to allow this transition without heartbreak.
Ming: So you’ve gone off me!
Me: Yes – I used to love you at 100%; now it’s around 50%.
Ming: What?
Me: Kidding!

Sigh! And this is only part of the bizarre conversation we had today on the way into town to see Ants.

The photo is from two years ago, before everything went a bit haywire in our lives.

Family Friendship Grief Happiness LOVE STORY Parkinson's disease

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Dec 20

“Mummy!”

by jmgoyder

Ming was allowed to come home today, three days after his surgery which was a fantastic surprise (we were told he’d be in hospital until Christmas Eve). I’d been staying in a hotel for a couple of nights and coming and going to the hospital, but checked out yesterday, planning to visit Ming then go home to the farm to feed and water the dogs, birds and alpacas, only to be told he’d be discharged today! So I quickly rang a friend to see if she could do the animals and checked back into the hotel for another night.

Yesterday Ming was still attached to the pain+antibiotic drip, a catheter, and a blood drain thingy, oxygen, and he could hardly get out of bed and walk a few steps, but today he was free of the various tubes and fighting fit – amazing! It is 8pm here and we got home around an hour ago. Ming is in a lot of pain but has three kinds of painkillers so is now in bed.

One of the painkillers has a strange side-effect – Mummy love! It is so hilarious; on Tuesday evening when he finally came out of surgery, he kept looking at me woozily and saying, “Oh, Mummy, give me your hand, hold my hand, I want to have a cubble (cuddle), you are the best mummy in the whole wide world, oh I love you so much” etc. If I let his hand go for a moment, he would yell, “Mummy, I need your hand! Muuuuuuummmmmmmyyyyyyyyy!”

Now this would have been okay if (a) he had a private room, and (b) he had a quiet voice. But he was in a shared room with three men who were all chuckling every time Ming yelled out, “Mummy, hand – where’s your hand?” After a couple of hours of this I started to get a bit embarrassed and sick of holding his stupid hand! His nurse was laughing hysterically (but quietly) at his antics and, as Ming got sleepier, she helped me remove my hand from his so I could escape to my hotel and have a well-earned wine.

My hand is still aching from his grip – so funny!

And so absolutely wonderful!

Note: Thank you so much to my WordPress and Facebook, and other friends and family (especially my own mother) for all of your prayers, wishes and messages to us. I haven’t had time to reply properly but please know how much your comments, care and love is appreciated by Ming and Muuuuummmmmyyyyy!

Animal blogging Family Friendship Happiness

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Dec 15

What to do if your computer overheats.

by jmgoyder

In the southwest of Western Australia we are experiencing a heat wave and, at 7.30pm the thermometer in the kitchen is nudging 38 degrees C to over 40 and apparently tomorrow will be even hotter. Oh that’s great – the air conditioner in the car stopped working a week ago and I have to take Ming up to Perth tomorrow for his surgery on Tuesday. I am going to be so worried about the animals in this heat (yes I’m just a tad worried for Ming too). Ming suggested he drive himself up for the surgery (that’s how nonchalant about it he is) and I have to admit I was a bit tempted but no, of course not.

So we are booked in to a hotel within walking distance from the hospital so that we can have a ‘night before’ get together with friends, a good sleep, then walk up to the hospital at 6am on Tuesday. Ming spent a couple of hours with Anthony at the nursing home today and we got Ants home yesterday for the afternoon so I am hoping he will remember what is happening and why I am not visiting. I will ring him of course but that is problematic in itself because he is often unable to remember how to answer the phone. But Ants hugged us both and wished Ming luck and said he would understand if I didn’t see him for a few days.

Oh, that’s right – this is about what to do if your computer overheats.

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Put a frozen package of something or other under it and it will gasp with relief!

Australia Family Friendship Grief Happiness LOVE STORY Parkinson's disease Wings

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Dec 14

Not buying into Christmas

by jmgoyder

Such a relief! Today, Ming and I had planned to go into town, get presents for each other and Anthony, get a Christmas tree, a ham, wrapping paper, sticky tape (which I can never find), send a few last-minute cards, decorate the house, find the Christmas tree lights and ornaments (oh where did I put them?) and generally have a frantic, stressful, expensive, horrible day.

But on waking up this morning to a day that was already promising relentless heat, I changed my mind and a bit later I discussed my idea with Ming:

Me: I think we should postpone Christmas.
Ming: What?
Me: Well, you will be in hospital until Christmas Eve … actually maybe we should just skip Christmas this year.
Ming: What? No presents?
Me: No presents.
Ming: No tree?
Me: No tree.
Ming: No turkey?
Me: No turkey.
Ming: No Christmas crackers?
Me: No Christmas crackers.
Ming: Mum, this is such a relief!
Me: So you agree?
Ming: I think it’s a brilliant idea!
Me: Without all the usual fuss we can celebrate Christmas for what it is.
Ming: Do you mean go to church?
Me: Yes.
Ming: Okay, let’s shake on this.

So we shook hands and grinned at each other.

The sense of relief is huge! I don’t have to fight through the throngs at the shops, spend a small fortune on ‘stuff’, don’t have to worry about how the hell I am going to cook a turkey with no oven, don’t have to search the whole of Australia for cranberry sauce, don’t have to spend hours wrapping presents, don’t have to queue up at the post office – ahhhhh!

A bit later:

Ming: But what will we eat for lunch on Christmas day?
Me: Ham sandwiches? I mean Anthony hardly has any appetite anymore anyway, it’ll be too hot for me to eat and you’re a fussy brat.
Ming: I like ham sandwiches.
Me: Good, then that’s decided.
Ming: But Grandma’s still coming on Christmas day isn’t she?
Me: No.
Ming: WHAT?!
Me: I’m joking, you idiot!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh – now all I have to do today is frolic with the peacocks – yeeha!

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Animal Australia Family Friendship Happiness Humour joy Marriage Parkinson's disease Teenagers Western Australia Wings

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Dec 12

Here we go again!

by jmgoyder

Yesterday Ming and I went up to Perth for the pre-op. things – blood and urine, ECG, consent forms for bone graft and bone marrow, consultations with a nurse, a doctor and an anaesthetist and, in the midst of all of these exciting events, I opened the letter we’d been given on arrival.

Well I got a bit of a shock because his surgery is scheduled for next Tuesday, 17th December! This means he will come out of hospital on Christmas Eve, or may be in over Christmas. Ming is elated it is happening before the new year but, with such short notice, I am a bit panicked about organizing things. He has to be in the hospital at 6.30am which means we will have to go up to Perth the night before and stay in a hotel. I will probably book in for two nights so I can see him the next day but then he wants me to come home again (“so you have time to get my Christmas presents, Mum!”)

This revision surgery is nothing compared to the massive scoliosis op. last year so it should be a piece of cake (I hope!) I took his photo this afternoon after asking him how he felt about the op. His expression is difficult to read but to me it says, “Fine!”

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While we’re in Perth, these two guys will look after the farm!

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Animal Australia Family Humour Teenagers Western Australia

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Dec 9

My muse is a peachick

by jmgoyder

Gutsy 9 is one year old today (yes I got the date wrong in a previous post – I thought I found her on November 9!) For those who don’t know, G9 is the peachick I found scurrying around outside on 9 December 2012. I knew she wasn’t a duck or a goose but I thought she might be a chook, or a turkey, or even a guinnea fowl, and it took me awhile to realize she was a peachick. Since none of the peahens seemed to want her, I brought her into the house and raised her until she was big enough to go outside. As she grew, I discovered that she was pied (half white and half blue) and recently that she was a she after all (we had thought she was a he). She is a daily delight – she runs to me whenever she hears my voice and still does funny little twirlies, then follows me like a dog. Here are some photos of her a year ago – on my shoulder, Anthony’s lap and in Ming’s hands – and her birthday photo today. She has brought all of us a great deal of joy.

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Birds Family Friendship Happiness Humour joy Wings

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Dec 8

Meg and Ming

by jmgoyder

Ming (my son) and Meg (my mother) are very good at charades, or whatever they were playing when this photo was taken. I have no recollection of this occasion, but my mother just sent me the photo which I have never seen before! In the good old days, when Anthony still lived here at home, my ma would often come to visit on Sundays. She and Ming would play games nonstop while Anthony and I watched, bemused, amused and sometimes hysterical with laughter. Meg and Ming + Ming and Meg = Inviolable.

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Meg is Ming’s only grandparent so they have a special relationship, as well as very bad taste in eye-glasses. Thanks for the guffaw, Ma!

Embarrassing moments Family Friendship Happiness Humour joy LOVE STORY Marriage Parkinson's disease Parkinson's disease dementia Teenagers

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