Anthony: Two conversations in one day. I am honoured!
Me: I went to see my psychologist, Daniella, today.
Anthony: Why do you need to see a psychologist?
Me: Let me think … well it just might be that the anniversary of your death is looming and glooming me – duhhh.
Anthony: Oh, that.
Me: I even cried a bit at the start of the session. I try not to do this usually but when she asked what was wrong I just said August, and then she realised. She was just as amazed as I am that it is nearly a year since you died.
Anthony: Daniella seems a benevolent soul.
Me: Bloody hell – I have never heard you say anything like that before!
Anthony: After death comes wisdom.
Me: Really?
Anthony: You will find a reference to this in the Song of Solomon.
Me: Okay, I get it now. You are trying to make me laugh. Bravo – you have succeeded!
Anthony: So what did Daniella say?
Me: To give myself a break, to stop berating myself for this and that, to breathe. She even indicated that my vibes were making her breathless. I told her that I had this constant mantra in my head of get over it, get over it, GET OVER IT, JULIE, since August 1st.
Anthony: And?
Me: Well then I blabbed on about how grateful I was for our rather unique relationship, our against-multiple-odds love story, Boney M, and my recurrent dream in which I take you from the nursing home to a party, forget your meds and you miraculously stand up out of the wheelchair and begin dancing.
Anthony: That dream has actually come true, Jules.
Me: Yes, that is what Daniella said! Do you still do your jumping up and down on-the-spot dance moves? You do realise, I hope, that the cracks in the wall of the living room are probably due to that dancing phase of yours.
Anthony: Sorry.
Me: I so wish Ming had known you back then and I told Daniella that too. I think that makes me sadder than anything else in the wake of your death; your beautiful son, who is so much like you in so many ways, never knew the ultra-lively man I fell for.
Anthony: Why have you put such a dreadful photo of me here?
Me: Because it was just before the nursing home days and Peter visited you once a week after that – one of your many wonderful nephews. His visits were like gold – remember?
Anthony: Yes.
Me: So Daniella suggested focussing on all of the good stuff, the funny stories, the great memories; she even suggested turning some of the sad bits of our story into something comical. Ingenious!