jmgoyder

wings and things

Disappointment

Yesterday afternoon, around 12 of our friends and relatives arrived here at 5pmish to see Anthony. I had ordered the wheelchair taxi to pick him up at 4.30 from the nursing lodge so, by 5.30, I was wondering why he hadn’t arrived.

Long story short (after I made numerous phone-calls) it turned out that the taxi had arrived early and didn’t wait so, by the time a nurse had Ants outside in a wheelchair, it was too late.

When I got to speak to Ants on the phone (6pm), there was a bit of a party happening here but with the star missing. The disappointment in his voice was devastating for me because I had organized it all for him and the stupid mis-timing of the taxi wrecked it.

I was supposed to leave for my little holiday this morning, but have decided to go this evening instead because I must see Ants first.

33 Comments »

Yeeha!

pea 741I have had a few yeeha! experiences lately.

Yeeha 1: Some of my university friends came over the other night with beer, pizza, hugs and laughter. One had her gorgeous fiance with her, plus another friend, then another of my beautiful friends and her daughter arrived, then Ming’s two best friends. It was a fantastic evening, full of wine-induced wisdom, frivolous guffaws, and crowded conversation. Best fun I’ve had for ages! It reminded me of the hundreds of similarly hilarious evenings here when Anthony was well and the life-of-the-party host. He would never sit down.

Yeeha 2: This afternoon I’ve arranged for the wheelchair taxi to pick Ants up from the nursing lodge and bring him home for a few hours. I’ve also invited his nephew’s family and his best mate’s family – a little party!

Yeeha 3: Tomorrow I go away for the 3-night resort holiday Ming has paid for and I cannot wait – am so excited. The only stipulation is that I de-clutter my office first. Wish me luck!

35 Comments »

I care about you

When I first began blogging, I had no idea that I would begin to care about people who I may never meet face to face.

As a newbie to the world of birds, I was drawn to blogs about birds, then drawn to blogs about photography.

As a carer for a husband with Parkinson’s Disease, I was drawn to blogs about PD, nursing homes, other people’s experiences of other illnesses.

As the mother of a teenage son, I was drawn to blogs about parenting, children and Erma Bombecky humour.

As a writer, I was drawn to blogs written by an array of different people – all ages, all styles, all genres, all fantastic.

As a woman battling grief, I was drawn to blogs about grief and blogs about inspiration – a good mix.

Tonight, I am drawn into the blog of a woman who has become my friend. Her daughter died today after a gruelling battle with disease.

I care about you.

76 Comments »

He ain’t heavy?

pea 592pea 590pea 591pea 583

Gutsy 9 (baby peacock who is now 6 weeks old) has become disenchanted with my shoulder because he is too big to get comfortable. He prefers to sit on the floor next to my feet now, almost like a dog! I have to admit that I, too, prefer this arrangement because I am a little tired of him throwing his wings in my face and biting my ear when he loses his grip on my shoulder. And when he can’t get his little mohawk head tucked into my neck (his favourite way to nap), he squawks! Luckily he is now getting used to the outside so, as soon as he is big enough to fly into the trees at night, I will stop babying him.

Anthony continues to ask if he can come home for the night and I continue to break my heart explaining that he is too heavy for me to lift. Ming and I went into the nursing lodge so Ming could take Ants for a ride in the new ute but Ants wasn’t well enough. We will try again tomorrow.

Ming has had his hair cut! He has had mixed reactions to this weight off his shoulders – ha!

51 Comments »

Happiness guilt

I have always had a bit of a problem with “happiness guilt”. As a child, I had a keen awareness that while I had a loving family, enough food, and a house to live in, other children in other places didn’t. So I developed a kind of resistance to happiness because it made me feel so guilty when I knew other people – particularly children – might be unhappy.

When I posted about Ming’s new ute, I didn’t mention the episode of happiness guilt he experienced for nearly an hour after Anthony and I shocked him with his birthday present.

I took Ants back into the lodge for lunch and wondered why Ming was taking so long to come in and join us. Finally I went outside to find Ming in a severe state of happiness guilt.

Ming: But I don’t deserve it – I can’t believe this!
Me: It was Dad’s idea and I made it happen.
Ming: But how? We don’t have any money! I’m so worried!
Me: Dad had some savings – Ming, please stop worrying, it’s okay. This is giving Ants so much joy – it’s sort of vicarious.
Ming: But it’s 4WD!
Me: Dad’s idea.
Ming: And turbo! And diesel! With a steel tray! And it’s automatic!
Me: Dad wanted to get you the best.
Ming: No, I don’t deserve it!
Me: You do! Now get over it and come in and say all this to Ants!

In the end I had to get a couple of nurses to go out and convince Ming to be happy and not guilty! He finally came in, hugged and thanked Ants and things lightened up but it was only when Ming (still on L-plates) was driving us home that the happiness finally got the better of the guilt.

Phew!

53 Comments »

Ming’s ute

pea 443pea 442

58 Comments »

Anthony’s birthday present to Ming!

I will never forget this fantastic day.

Several weeks ago Ants decided that we should get Ming a ute for his 19th birthday. In order to do so he had to cash in some very precious shares (both monetarily and sentimentally) to afford it.

It took a fair bit of negotiating, research, and secret phone conversations with Anthony and the dealer and there was a long delay in getting the ute fitted with a steel tray which Ants insisted on.

As a result of the delay, Ming’s birthday (10 days ago) came and went and I had to tell him his present hadn’t arrived yet.

Yesterday I got the call to say it was ready so I asked if it could be delivered to the nursing lodge so that Ants could give it to Ming personally. No problem.

So I told Ming we had to be in town by 11.30am to get his present. The only hint I had given him was that it was musical, so he assumed it was some sort of guitar. He didn’t have a clue!

So we got to the nursing lodge and I told Ming to wait in the outside parking lot while I checked if the present had arrived, then I went to get Ants to come outside.

I ran down to the entrance to see the dealer standing next Ming’s ute, waiting, and I almost yelped with excitement as I raced in to get Ants.

Once Ants was seated outside in front of the ute and chatting to the dealer, I raced back up to the outside parking lot and fetched Ming who drove us in and parked our old ute right next to the new one. He still didn’t twig!

Then, standing right in front of the new ute, he said hi to Ants and then, “Dad, what is my present? Mum is ridiculously excited!”

Anthony said, Ït’s right behind you.”

Ming turned around, looked at the dealer who he had assumed was a friend visiting Ants, then looked at the ute of his dreams – a Toyota Hilux Workmate – and his jaw dropped.

More in next post – I can’t continue because I am too happy about the expression on Anthony’s face – and Ming’s – so my words are now caught in my throat!

71 Comments »

Shortlived

During yesterday I kept an eye on the mother peahen and her chick and all was well, but in the late afternoon the chick had disappeared. I looked everywhere I had seen them together during the day and the mother followed me silently. At dusk, I gave up and sat at my picnic table with Gutsy9, feeding the throng of peafowl bits of bread, still hoping the chick would reappear, but it didn’t. It would have been killed by a crow, and it would have been quick, so I am trying to be okay with having let Nature take over. That mother and child had a beautiful day together.

Today Anthony was brighter. Ming and I went in to the nursing lodge and the visit was full of hilarity for a change. Ming was in good form but he has a very loud voice so at one point a male nurse came into Anthony’s room and asked Ming to quieten down or he would give somebody a heart attack. Then we all got the giggles!

I didn’t tell Ants about the missing peachick.

35 Comments »

Another peachick!

pea 307pea 299pea 292pea 289pea 296

Yesterday my youngest brother’s family stayed the night with us and the twins found another peachick! They were terribly excited, but it presented me with a dilemma because, even though the mother appeared to be looking after him, it was getting dark, so we kept him inside for the night with a very nonplussed Gutsy9.

This morning, after my brother’s family left, Ming and I were sitting outside on the front veranda with both chicks when the mother peahen approached us making little clucking noises, so we put her chick on the grass and off they went. I followed them for awhile and it was obvious the mother and chick were inseparable so I have decided to hope for the best and reassess the situation this afternoon. (Months ago around 20 guinnea fowl chicks hatched under a shrub and, thinking it best to leave it to their mothers to look after them, I didn’t intervene. The next day they were gone.)

So we might bring the new chick in for the night again – not sure!

55 Comments »

Bouncing back

It’s a bit difficult to bounce in yet another horrible heat wave, but Ming and I saw the doc this morning, agreed to undertake some treatment, including further counselling, then went to a restaurant for breakfast.

While we were away, a father/son lawnmowing team gobbled up 5 acres of overgrowth at a very reasonable rate, so the place is once again back in shape.

Yesterday, Ming and I went to see Anthony because I hadn’t seen him for a week due to not being allowed to bring my flu into the nursing lodge. We sat outside but the scene was not BradyBunchish; Ming plonked himself at a distance, scowling, while I sat on the grass next to Anthony’s chair with Gutsy9 (the baby peacock) scurrying between us and flying on and off Anthony’s lap.

I asked Ants to give Ming a pep talk but this didn’t work because Anthony’s concentration is now so poor. Oh well, he did try! It reminded me of when he was home because he was always the buffer if Ming and I had an argument about homework or eating vegetables etc.

Anthony’s big-hearted solidity often turned arguments into hilarity and taught us a lot about bouncing back, even though he can’t bounce at all anymore.

I missed him so badly last night that I almost couldn’t bear it, but today I am bouncing back.

67 Comments »