Me: Life is so complicated, isn’t it.
Anthony: Spot on, Jules, you got that right.
Me: And people are so complicated, aren’t they.
Anthony: Yes, they are, Jules.
Me: I have just realised why our conversations with each other, over all of the years we have known each other, have been so easy.
Anthony: And your conclusion?
Me: Well you do this very clever [devious] thing where you affirm me even when you disagree with me.
Anthony: I can read bracketed information, Jules.
Me: Whoops, I forgot about all of your omnis.
Anthony: Having an argument with you, Jules, was like being in a hurricane.
Me: Sorry, Ants. At least we didn’t do it often.
Anthony: But you were right. Always.
Me: I know, Ants, but I didn’t know you knew that!
Anthony: I wasn’t allowed in through the Heavenly gates until I did the Hindsight test.
Me: OMG that sounds horrible.
Anthony: The facilitators were very understanding.
Me: What did they say? I’m curious.
Anthony: They told me that I had nearly left it too late to propose marriage to you.
Me: Really? What else did they say?
Anthony: That I’d been an idiot not to have proposed earlier….
Me: And?
Anthony: Everything about everything about the 40 years I have known you, Jules, is the way it was always supposed to be.
Me: No, I don’t believe in that fate stuff, Ants – I much prefer the idea of contingency. Anyway, forget all that philosophical stuff. Where are you?
Anthony: I’m in Heaven.
Me: But where is that?
Anthony: I don’t know but wherever it is, it’s great.
Me: These imagined conversations with you are so weird. I recognise that what I am doing is a sort of therapeutic writing exercise but, at the same time, it feels organic and I only chat with you like this when I feel like it.
Anthony: Jules, STOP worrying about what people might think.
Me: Okay.
Anthony: And let’s keep talking like this, as much or as little as you want. I am very happily dead now, Jules, so concentrate your fantastic love on the Ming.
Me: Okay.
Anthony: Just a second: Plato and Soc. are both telling me different things about you.
Me: Is Foucault there too?
Anthony: Sorry, Jules – they’re all in the middle of a game of chess, but Plato just mentioned something about love being a kind of madness that is heavenly. Does that make sense?
Me: I know the quote, Ants! “The madness of love is the greatest of heaven’s blessings” Plato. Did he really say this?
Anthony: He is nodding yes.
Me: This is like some sort of kindergarten ‘let’s pretend’ game, Ants, but it is so much fun! I love and miss you with all of my poor, exhausted, grief-stricken heart.
Anthony: Get a life, Jules.
Me: What?
Anthony: I’m dead. Accept it. Move on.
Me: I can’t believe that you have just said what all of those horrible, wonderful idiots say: move on.
Anthony: They’re not idiots, Jules.
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