jmgoyder

wings and things

Not posting for awhile

Things have happened in the last 24 hours – a car accident, but everyone is going to be okay. I won’t be posting or reading blogs for awhile.

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Grief Intelligence: A Primer

Vic's Final Journey

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For the past 25 years, I have worked with thousands of grievers. I have sat with widows and widowers, the young and the old. I have offered tissues to bereaved parents in their inconsolable grief. I have normalized, educated, listened to and championed those grievers who, through tremendous pain, still engaged with life.

In the decades since my book Transcending Loss was published, the grieving process has not changed. As I interact with grievers from around the world, I am reminded of the universality of grief. And though each person has their own journey, still they share many common experiences.

Yet, still, I see and hear so much misinformation and confusion around grief. Principally, this comes from the widely-held myths that grief should be easy, that grief should be short, that grief has closure, that people should get on with their lives unchanged and that ongoing connection with the deceased…

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Carpet

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Dear Spring

Dear Spring

It is the third day that you have failed to appear.
The ute is bogged in the orchard.
The sun has become a faint memory here on the farm.
My geese and ducks are ecstatic.

But your sky is the colour of steel, all the clocks have stopped ticking, the telephone wiring is dead, and I can’t ride my bicycle through puddles the size of lakes on our driveway (yeah, lame excuse, I know).

The camellias are somehow hardy enough to withstand the relentless rain bombardment, but I am tired of your dark, cloudy unpredictability.

I await your arrival tomorrow, Spring.

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The good thing about gloomy

Down here in the southwest of Western Australia, the first day of spring coincided with Fathers’ day. The weather was rubbish, Anthony didn’t understand or acknowledge his presents, Ming got annoyed, and the day unfolded in staccato bites of aggro, humour and ferocious love, with my mother keeping Ming and me at bay, while we all drank Bollinger and ate pistachios, blue cheese,
Dolmades, pickled asparagus, olives, and salami. Then strawberries and cream.

Even though I try not to let this happen to my heart, I was upset when I picked Ants up this morning, because the nurse in charge told me that my gentle husband had recently become very nasty with some of the staff.

I think I will make tomorrow the first day of spring because today failed.

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See you in September!

Too much happening – esp. re Ming’s latest spinal prognosis (it’s only just sinking in that he has unwittingly damaged himself). We have to figure a few things out so I will cease blogging for a couple of weeks.

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Today

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Stomach bug

After my happiness post I was struck with an awful gastric attack, shivery, melty fever, unquenchable thirst, and aches so have been in bed for over 24 hours. Good intentions of replying to comments and commenting on other blogs went down the loo.

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Knife mishap

imageThe other day I cut the tip of my thumb off just above the nail. I was cutting up potatoes and the scanpan knife slipped. I hadn’t used it before so didn’t realize how sharp. The blood frightened the hell out of me and I ran, whimpering and bleeding, to Ming’s shed. He kindly attended to the wound with about ten bandaids but it bled for over an hour.

Two days later, when I was with Anthony at the nursing lodge, the nurse in charge was kind enough to dress my thumb properly and now the missing bit (which has never been found) has nearly grown back – amazing!

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Just in case

Internet keeps cutting out. Telephone isn’t working either. Stormy weather!

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