jmgoyder

wings and things

Jan 19

I care about you

by jmgoyder

When I first began blogging, I had no idea that I would begin to care about people who I may never meet face to face.

As a newbie to the world of birds, I was drawn to blogs about birds, then drawn to blogs about photography.

As a carer for a husband with Parkinson’s Disease, I was drawn to blogs about PD, nursing homes, other people’s experiences of other illnesses.

As the mother of a teenage son, I was drawn to blogs about parenting, children and Erma Bombecky humour.

As a writer, I was drawn to blogs written by an array of different people – all ages, all styles, all genres, all fantastic.

As a woman battling grief, I was drawn to blogs about grief and blogs about inspiration – a good mix.

Tonight, I am drawn into the blog of a woman who has become my friend. Her daughter died today after a gruelling battle with disease.

I care about you.

Animal blogging Family Friendship LOVE STORY Wings

76 Comments »
Jan 18

He ain’t heavy?

by jmgoyder

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Gutsy 9 (baby peacock who is now 6 weeks old) has become disenchanted with my shoulder because he is too big to get comfortable. He prefers to sit on the floor next to my feet now, almost like a dog! I have to admit that I, too, prefer this arrangement because I am a little tired of him throwing his wings in my face and biting my ear when he loses his grip on my shoulder. And when he can’t get his little mohawk head tucked into my neck (his favourite way to nap), he squawks! Luckily he is now getting used to the outside so, as soon as he is big enough to fly into the trees at night, I will stop babying him.

Anthony continues to ask if he can come home for the night and I continue to break my heart explaining that he is too heavy for me to lift. Ming and I went into the nursing lodge so Ming could take Ants for a ride in the new ute but Ants wasn’t well enough. We will try again tomorrow.

Ming has had his hair cut! He has had mixed reactions to this weight off his shoulders – ha!

Animal Family Friendship LOVE STORY Wings

51 Comments »
Jan 17

Happiness guilt

by jmgoyder

I have always had a bit of a problem with “happiness guilt”. As a child, I had a keen awareness that while I had a loving family, enough food, and a house to live in, other children in other places didn’t. So I developed a kind of resistance to happiness because it made me feel so guilty when I knew other people – particularly children – might be unhappy.

When I posted about Ming’s new ute, I didn’t mention the episode of happiness guilt he experienced for nearly an hour after Anthony and I shocked him with his birthday present.

I took Ants back into the lodge for lunch and wondered why Ming was taking so long to come in and join us. Finally I went outside to find Ming in a severe state of happiness guilt.

Ming: But I don’t deserve it – I can’t believe this!
Me: It was Dad’s idea and I made it happen.
Ming: But how? We don’t have any money! I’m so worried!
Me: Dad had some savings – Ming, please stop worrying, it’s okay. This is giving Ants so much joy – it’s sort of vicarious.
Ming: But it’s 4WD!
Me: Dad’s idea.
Ming: And turbo! And diesel! With a steel tray! And it’s automatic!
Me: Dad wanted to get you the best.
Ming: No, I don’t deserve it!
Me: You do! Now get over it and come in and say all this to Ants!

In the end I had to get a couple of nurses to go out and convince Ming to be happy and not guilty! He finally came in, hugged and thanked Ants and things lightened up but it was only when Ming (still on L-plates) was driving us home that the happiness finally got the better of the guilt.

Phew!

Family Friendship LOVE STORY

53 Comments »
Jan 12

WordPressing problems

by jmgoyder

Apart from once again being subscribed to too many blogs, all of which I love, I am also having a terrible time with WP’s latest innovations. For eg., if I read your blog via the email link, the ‘Like’button often won’t work, and if I read your blog via the Reader, I sometimes can’t get the ‘Comment’thing to work.

So I have decided to take a blogreading break until WP fixes the glitches because it’s too hard. I am not unsubscribing from anyone’s blog but will confine my blogreading to the blogs of friends who are going through very hard times, and catch up with others later.

I will keep blogwriting though because it keeps me out of mischief!

blogging Friendship

43 Comments »
Jan 12

Shortlived

by jmgoyder

During yesterday I kept an eye on the mother peahen and her chick and all was well, but in the late afternoon the chick had disappeared. I looked everywhere I had seen them together during the day and the mother followed me silently. At dusk, I gave up and sat at my picnic table with Gutsy9, feeding the throng of peafowl bits of bread, still hoping the chick would reappear, but it didn’t. It would have been killed by a crow, and it would have been quick, so I am trying to be okay with having let Nature take over. That mother and child had a beautiful day together.

Today Anthony was brighter. Ming and I went in to the nursing lodge and the visit was full of hilarity for a change. Ming was in good form but he has a very loud voice so at one point a male nurse came into Anthony’s room and asked Ming to quieten down or he would give somebody a heart attack. Then we all got the giggles!

I didn’t tell Ants about the missing peachick.

Animal Family Friendship LOVE STORY Wings

35 Comments »
Jan 11

Dementia dilemmas and the ‘ripe old age’ myth

by jmgoyder

Medical interventions in western societies across the globe have made it possible for elderly people afflicted with illnesses that cause them pain, misery and confusion to be given a few extra years of life.

Anthony was so distressed on the phone tonight that he said he wanted to die. He doesn’t usually say things like this and the thud of his words squished all of my heart’s remaining envelopes into hot putty.

His prostate cancer is fullblown and now untreatable, his Parkinson’s Disease (our main woe) has rendered him incapable of doing what most of us do automatically – eating, walking, going to the loo, answering the phone, conversing, smiling….

And now the dementia, nibbling away at all of our yesterdays.

I am sorry if this causes offence to anyone but death would be better than the living hell of a ‘ripe old age’

I love you so much, Anthony.

Friendship LOVE STORY

63 Comments »
Jan 11

Another peachick!

by jmgoyder

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Yesterday my youngest brother’s family stayed the night with us and the twins found another peachick! They were terribly excited, but it presented me with a dilemma because, even though the mother appeared to be looking after him, it was getting dark, so we kept him inside for the night with a very nonplussed Gutsy9.

This morning, after my brother’s family left, Ming and I were sitting outside on the front veranda with both chicks when the mother peahen approached us making little clucking noises, so we put her chick on the grass and off they went. I followed them for awhile and it was obvious the mother and chick were inseparable so I have decided to hope for the best and reassess the situation this afternoon. (Months ago around 20 guinnea fowl chicks hatched under a shrub and, thinking it best to leave it to their mothers to look after them, I didn’t intervene. The next day they were gone.)

So we might bring the new chick in for the night again – not sure!

Animal Family Friendship Wings

55 Comments »
Jan 10

Peaceful peafowl

by jmgoyder

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Peace.

Animal Friendship Wings

32 Comments »
Jan 8

Bouncing back

by jmgoyder

It’s a bit difficult to bounce in yet another horrible heat wave, but Ming and I saw the doc this morning, agreed to undertake some treatment, including further counselling, then went to a restaurant for breakfast.

While we were away, a father/son lawnmowing team gobbled up 5 acres of overgrowth at a very reasonable rate, so the place is once again back in shape.

Yesterday, Ming and I went to see Anthony because I hadn’t seen him for a week due to not being allowed to bring my flu into the nursing lodge. We sat outside but the scene was not BradyBunchish; Ming plonked himself at a distance, scowling, while I sat on the grass next to Anthony’s chair with Gutsy9 (the baby peacock) scurrying between us and flying on and off Anthony’s lap.

I asked Ants to give Ming a pep talk but this didn’t work because Anthony’s concentration is now so poor. Oh well, he did try! It reminded me of when he was home because he was always the buffer if Ming and I had an argument about homework or eating vegetables etc.

Anthony’s big-hearted solidity often turned arguments into hilarity and taught us a lot about bouncing back, even though he can’t bounce at all anymore.

I missed him so badly last night that I almost couldn’t bear it, but today I am bouncing back.

Animal Family Friendship LOVE STORY Wings

67 Comments »
Jan 7

Making friends with Despair

by jmgoyder

I’m not scared of Despair anymore because today she told me that she only wanted a tiny hug before she went to visit somebody else. She said she had tried to visit us before but the doors were always locked.

So I gave Despair an enormous hug, apologized for us locking the doors and, as she hugged me back, she wept into the crevice of my left elbow, then she gave me a short bit of advice.

I kept hugging her until I realized Despair had gone and I was hugging my silly self!

Translation: Despair’s visit catapulted me into seeking help. Tomorrow! Yeah, she was okay enough, but I don’t want her to come back.

Animal blogging Family Friendship LOVE STORY My published writing

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