jmgoyder

wings and things

Mar 28

20th wedding anniversary!

by jmgoyder

Yesterday was our 20th wedding anniversary and Anthony forgot.

So did I.

[Actually, we always forget for some reason but I thought ‘So did I’ was a rather good punchline – ha!]

My mother usually reminds us but she’s in hospital and will be for some time. It was only when I was collecting stuff from her house to take into the hospital that I saw her note – ‘March 27-Ants & Julie anniversary’.

Ants is coming home for the day tomorrow – Good Friday – and I’m not sure whether to tell him about our anniversary or not because it might make him a bit sad and nostalgic.

20 years! Aren’t I supposed to get some sort of present?

[Note to other bloggers – I am having difficulty keeping up with your posts and comments – will catch up asap.]

blogging Family Friendship Grief Happiness LOVE STORY Marriage Parkinson's disease Parkinson's disease dementia

75 Comments »
Mar 25

Catastrophe!

by jmgoyder

My mother had a terrible fall yesterday and is in hospital undergoing surgery for three fractures in her wrist. Her pelvis is also fractured in two places. She had just recovered from a fractured hip and was elated to be able to ride her bicycle again and it was only her second ride. A neighbour found her on the road and rang me. Since then it has been a bit chaotic.

She shines.

I weep.

Family

52 Comments »
Mar 24

If you don’t know what to say, just shut up!

by jmgoyder

I’ve been trying to find a word that means the same thing as ‘stating the obvious’ but, apart from ‘duh’, there doesn’t seem to be one in the English language. ‘Redundant’ doesn’t quite cut it, ínanity’ only just comes close, so ‘duh’ it is.

A close relative of Anthony’s, who only visits him sporadically, and has baulked at my suggestion of getting him wheel-chair taxied to their place, sent me an email the other day. In the email it was stated that they had visited Anthony but didn’t have time at the moment to arrange for a taxi visit. The irony and inanity of the email’s concluding sentence astounded me:

We notice that he is very lonely.

Duh!

Family Friendship Grief Happiness LOVE STORY Marriage Parkinson's disease Parkinson's disease dementia

57 Comments »
Mar 23

Predicting unpredictability

by jmgoyder

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In advanced Parkinson’s disease, it is difficult to predict how any one day will unfold. PD is the kind of disease whereby the timing of medications is almost as important as the medications themselves.

Over the many years since Anthony’s diagnosis, the medications have been changed repeatedly to ‘keep up’ with the progression of the disease. The various timings have also been altered here and there because it’s so difficult to get it right.

In some ways, I quite like the idea of unpredictability – unexpected visitors, for example. In other ways, I don’t like unpredictability -unexpected visitors, for example (ha!)

With PD (especially when it includes a bit of fresh dementia), the unexpected visitors come in the form of constant unpredctability. Today, for instance, I visited Ants at the nursing lodge just after lunch. I predicted that he would have the usual post-meal droopiness but instead he was lively, lucid and he made me laugh.

This was just as unpredicted as the arrival of four wild galahs who seem to have made this place their home recently. So I guess there really isn’t much point attempting to predict the unpredictable, and I am going to stop trying, happily!

Animal Birds Family Friendship Grief Happiness LOVE STORY Marriage Parkinson's disease Parkinson's disease dementia Wings

19 Comments »
Mar 22

Goofy guinnea fowl

by jmgoyder

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Anthony was wheelchair-taxied home for the afternoon yesterday and I was excited about showing him what Ming and I have just discovered – a nest of guinnea fowl eggs behind the wash house, with a mother in attendance.

When Ants arrived he managed to walk unassisted from the taxi to the front veranda after Ming and I helped him out of the wheelchair. But 15 minutes later, when he had to go to the loo, he couldn’t move without my help and it was another 15 minutes before he and I were sitting down again. I knew then that there was no point trying to get him around to the back of the house to see the nest. Oh well, maybe next time.

The guinneas were the first birds we ever got and Ants loves them. If all goes well, we will have another flock soon!

Animal Birds Family Friendship Grief Happiness LOVE STORY Marriage Parkinson's disease Parkinson's disease dementia Wings

30 Comments »
Mar 21

Where is Mum?

by jmgoyder

I got a bit of a shock yesterday when Anthony asked if I knew where his mum was.

Grief LOVE STORY Marriage Parkinson's disease Parkinson's disease dementia

42 Comments »
Mar 19

The happy couple

by jmgoyder

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I’m still struggling with asthma (I realize now this is most likely due to having the old carpets ripped out the other day). So I’m not keeping up with other blogs very well at the moment.

Anyway, the pics are of our older two peafowl, King peacock on the left and his adoring Queenie. They kind of remind me of Anthony and me!

Animal Birds blogging Family Friendship Happiness LOVE STORY Marriage

37 Comments »
Mar 15

Hardening the heart

by jmgoyder

I’m not sure if this is right or wrong, sensible or nonsensical, normal or not, but sometimes I have to harden my heart in a very deliberate way in order to ‘seize the day’.

We probably all do this to some extent – I’m not sure. All I know is that if Anthony is forlorn, or Ming is angry, or I am wondering/wandering, I seem to be able to harden my heart against itself.

And then I can breathe again.

Family Friendship LOVE STORY

61 Comments »
Mar 14

Peekaboo!

by jmgoyder

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Gutsy9 has now been living outside for 16 days. To begin with, he was sleeping in a big cage within a pen, but he has now graduated to sleeping outside the cage because he is tall enough to drink from the water container without the risk of drowning.

Zaruma and Tapper (married Muscovy ducks) have taken a liking to him so I put them in the same pen as G9 for the night, with the geese and turkeys in a separate pen.

When I go out to the pens in the morning to let them all out for the day, all the birds go crazy with delight but G9 literally jumps for joy to see me and sometimes twirls himself around in a little happy dance before following me across the lawn and into the back veranda of the house.

He followed me into the bathroom today, asking for a cuddle!

Animal Family Friendship LOVE STORY Wings

32 Comments »
Mar 13

Embarrassment!

by jmgoyder

I went to see a new chiropractor today because my chiro. brother is living in Honiara at the moment. So I showered and dressed in my going-to-town clothes, making sure I had decent underwear on in case I had to get into a gown.

Just before I left home, I ran outside in my old sandals to let the geese, ducks and turkeys out of their pens for the day. I accidentally stepped in a couple of puddles and so my feet were covered in mud, but, as I was running late, I just rinsed and wiped as much of the grime off as possible, then threw socks and boots on and raced into town.

Imagine my horror when the chiropractor asked me to take my boots and socks off! Dirty feet that have been inside socks and boots for an hour on a hot day aren’t particularly pleasant things to deal with.

Reluctantly, I took off my boots, then said to the chiropractor, Do I have to take my socks off? I think my feet might be dirty. He just smiled and said yes because he wanted to test my reflexes. Argh! So I peeled my socks off to reveal two filthy feet with matching toenails. I looked at them in shock and said, Oh no, they are dirty! as if I had never seen those feet before, as if they belonged to someone else, a dirty person.

The rest of me is clean, I said lamely, as I explained about the chookyard mishap. But the chiropractor just smiled and did the reflex thing and asked about the birds as if to distract himself from the horror of touching my feet.

Well how was I suppose to know he’d want to see my feet?

Animal Wings

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