jmgoyder

wings and things

Oct 1

This wrinkled soul

by jmgoyder

This soul has developed crinkles like the white linen shirts I used to wear but gave away because I hate ironing.

This soul has developed wrinkles – frown wrinkles – not very becoming at all.

This soul is like a boiled egg – perfect until you crack the shell, peel it off and mush the egg for a sandwich.

A splintered windscreen.

An improbable jigsaw.

This soul has also become argumentative and I am getting really sick of the way it nags, nags, nags; no wonder it has wrinkles.

No wonder it has crinkles.

I know I should probably try to iron out its crinkly wrinkles.

But that would be as stupid as ironing a Sebastopol goose.

I’ll try to make friends with this soul on my way into see Anthony in the nursing lodge.

His soul is much better behaved!

Animal Wings

38 Comments »
Oct 1

Apology

by jmgoyder

I decided to edit out the following sentence from my ‘rage’ post of yesterday: “Of course none of those professionals really care, do they.”

That was a dreadful overgeneralization for which I apologize.  The focus of my rage was on the doctor who did not return my calls for three weeks and who took just as long to even refer Anthony to the surgeon.

Now Anthony is on the urgent list for cancellations. It’s a public holiday today so tomorrow I will ring the surgeon’s office and ask if there are any cancellations and then I will just keep ringing until it happens.

I  will not panic. It is not an emergency so the hospital idea is out.

Most of the professionals who have looked after Anthony, and continue to look after him, are wonderful, caring people.

Family Uncategorized

37 Comments »
Sep 30

Rage

by jmgoyder

It has been several weeks since a nasty skin cancer developed on Anthony’s forehead, right next to his left eye. He has had these before, many times – squamous cell carcinomas. Mostly our doctor burns them off with that nitrogen thingy, but a few years ago Anthony was referred to a specialist and put in hospital to have some of them surgically removed. The surgery went well but his meds. somehow got lost so he was off his face hallucinating. A second operation was scheduled but this time I kept his meds in my handbag just in case.

For several weeks now I have been trying to get some clarity from his doctor, the surgeon etc. because this skin cancer is painful and looks like a little red hole drilling into his head and if I hug Ants he winces with pain. The surgeon’s wife tells me on the phone that he is on the waiting list and I will be given an hour’s notice. Ming became angry enough to ring them back and beg for the surgeon to go see Ants in the nursing home before hospital but the answer was no.

I can’t lift Ants by myself anymore so I can’t drive him to the appointment especially if I only get an hour’s notice since we live a half hour away from the nursing lodge. I think I will get him ambulanced into hospital tomorrow and take it from there.

Rage

Family

57 Comments »
Sep 30

Love story 100 – Do males always love themselves this much?

by jmgoyder

Prince (our only white peacock): I just love the smell of my feathers – glorious!

King: I know what you mean, Prince – I love the angles of my shadow on the lawn.

Okay, years ago – well before Ants and I got married and had Ming and well before Ants got so sick – I asked him to explain his arrogant, strutting self-posturing.

He said (and I will never forget it), “Jules, men have to love themselves just in case nobody else does.”

Oh!

Animal Family LOVE STORY Wings

24 Comments »
Sep 30

Peacock feathers

by jmgoyder

To those I offered to send peacock feathers to, I apologize for not having done so yet but apparently each country has its own rules about this kind of gift. So, if you want some, you need to check out your own country’s rules and get back to me and then I can arrange.

King  and the others will be shedding again soon, so I will have plenty. I/we just have to work out the legal logistics.

Wings

23 Comments »
Sep 29

Roof rats

by jmgoyder

Yes, I am over-posting, I know! But the thing is that there are rat races happening just above my head in my little office (you know, the one I just cleaned out). The pest control man who came over the other day and did several hours of work to eradicate the (possibility of) termites, charged us a small fortune, and told me that the rats might be possums who might be rats, was too nervous to get into our ceiling even though we gave him a ladder.

Tonight I have made a decision. I will buy rat poison and throw it into the ceiling cavity because I cannot stand it anymore. Anthony used to do all of this stuff but he never taught me how, or where, or what – so I flounder with what I am supposed to do. It is a very old house so the electric wires are already old and a bit dangerous which is another thing I have to figure out.

I remember when my beautiful mother at 44 had to suddenly deal with all of the stuff Dad did before he died – all that supposedly manny stuff. She did it with more alacrity than I will ever have and anyway Anthony isn’t dead.

I am going to kill those rats because if I don’t they will fall through the ceiling and swallow me whole.

Animal

41 Comments »
Sep 29

Are you there?

by jmgoyder

Angelina: Are you there, Jo and Terry?

Angelina: Are you there, Robyn and Rhonda?

Angelina: Are you there, BB,CC and WW?

Julie: Angelina, will you stop it! Go to bed. Yes all of those people are there/here – angels like you!

Animal blogging Friendship Wings

15 Comments »
Sep 29

Award anxiety/aversion

by jmgoyder

I have read enough posts lately to know that I am not alone in my award anxiety/aversion.  Despite the gratitude I feel towards other bloggers who have nominated me for various awards, most of the awards themselves, though well-intentioned by their inventors, entail hard work, resemble chain letter pressure and I keep losing the plot with what award? who nominated me? what do I have to do?

Today I decided to trace back to those culprits who nominated me so that I can punish them with the Hot Potato Award that I invented ages ago as a kind of award-shield.

Here is a list of the beautiful culprits. Their blogs are worth following because of the honest heartiness in each person’s words.

http://writingmusings.wordpress.com/

http://terry1954.wordpress.com/

http://dogdaz.com/

http://perfectingmotherhood.wordpress.com/

http://magnoliabeginnings.org/

http://help-me-rhonda.com/

http://mamatattoo.com/

To each of these people I want to say three things:

1. Copy/paste the Hot Potato award to your blogsite. There are no rules – the award is yours.

2. If you nominate me again I will send you a cold potato!

3. I love your blog!

Now, here is a little story to explain my apparent ungraciousness and my award anxiety/aversion:

A few years ago, the university decided to introduce a teaching award. If you were nominated you had to give a 5-minute speech about why you loved teaching. So I was nominated and gave a flustered speech. I was competing with a few other lecturers, but I won the vote and was given the award. The nominations and votes were anonymous of course. I was congratulated and I felt quite chuffed to be recognized.

A few weeks later I was having a coffee with a colleague who also happened to be a student in one of my classes (this often happens on small campuses) and she mentioned the award.

“Yes,” I said, “It was a bit of a surprise because I am the least professional of all the lecturers here but that seemed to go down well – my down-to-earthness or something!”

She looked at me strangely and said, grinning, “I nominated you.”

I was shocked. “Why?”

“Just for a laugh,” she said, cackling.

That’s why I don’t like awards.

blogging Friendship

41 Comments »
Sep 29

Butterfly haiku

by jmgoyder

The utterfly looks

for the B that will heal it

under the grey rocks.

The utterfly has

enormously big nostrils,

like big purple eyes.

The utterfly finds

its missing B in the hug

of an old, old man.

The utterfly finds

its missing B in the smile

of a young, young man.

The utterfly speaks,

sheds its mothy shabbiness,

enfolds its own B …

And becomes a butterfly.

Animal Uncategorized Wings

47 Comments »
Sep 28

Love story 99 – Pip

by jmgoyder

After the kidney infection episode and I was out of hospital, Anthony rang to say he would come and get me and bring me down to the farm to convalesce. I was surprised at this gesture as (a) in those days Ants would not leave the farm; (b) he wasn’t that great with generous gestures; and (c) he never bothered to see me when I was actually in hospital.

“Do you have to come to Perth anyway?” I asked on the phone.

“Well,  yes, to pick up Pip.”

“What do you mean?” (Pip was my own little mini-dachshund who Ants was looking after while I worked and undertook my postgraduate studies in Perth.)

“I’ve just had her mated, Jules – it’s no big deal.”

“Okay, but she is my dog, Ants – you could have asked me!”

The next day he came up to my flat to pick me up and, expecting to see Pip in his arms, I became a bit alarmed. Ants sat down at my little table and sipped the coffee I gave him and then told me she was dead – that she had tried to get out of the pen she was in and strangled herself. He wiped at his eyes as I sobbed, then took my hand in his and said, repeatedly, ‘I’m so sorry, Jules.”

Animal Family LOVE STORY

32 Comments »
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