jmgoyder

wings and things

Feb 21

A bird in the bush is worth two in the hand

by jmgoyder

pea 288pea 148pea 335pea 366

Have you ever had a tug of war with your child over a piece of plastic?
Have you ever stopped your child from munching the remnants of a Morteined cockroach?
Has your child ever bitten you hard on the finger in a fit of temper?
Has your child ever smashed your nose with his when you try to put him to bed?
Have you ever had a child who likes to bite his toenails?
Have you ever had a child who refuses the food you lovingly prepare?
Have you ever had a child that prefers rolling around in the dirt to anything else?

If so, you probably have a baby peacock on your hands!

Note: Gutsy9 is a typical adolescent, which is great because he is getting his independence.

Animal Family Friendship Wings

33 Comments »
Feb 20

Galloping Gutsy9!

by jmgoyder

pea 001pea 013pea 348pea 363

Gutsy9 is now over 3 months old (photos are from beginning to now). When we go outside he literally gallops after me, despite his crooked leg. This morning I left him inside while I filled the outside ponds because he could easily drown at this age. When I turned the hose off I heard this unearthly howl from the house – quite guttural – and it was him! His voice must have broken because usually, when he can’t see me, he just cheeps forlornly.

What an interesting experience!

Animal Family Friendship Wings

57 Comments »
Feb 19

Apostrophes

by jmgoyder

pea 370pea 367

Anthony’s wife is Julie.
Anthony’s son is Ming.
Julie’s husband is Anthony.
Julie’s son is Ming.
Ming’s father is Anthony.
Ming’s mother is Julie.

We are each others’ apostrophes.

And Gutsy’s mine.

Animal Family Friendship LOVE STORY Wings

40 Comments »
Feb 19

When things go wrong

by jmgoyder

This morning, on our way to town, Ming and I had a ferocious argument, with him yelling and me shrieking and both of us swearing and me crying.

Our first stop was the chemist so I left Ming in the car, slammed the door, wiped my eyes and went in to get a few things with a big fake smile on my face. It took awhile for a couple of prescriptions to be filled so I went back to the car to find Ming with silent tears rolling down his cheeks. I got into the car and sobbed an apology which was reciprocated, then we just sat in silence for a few minutes, staring dully though the windscreen.

Then we began to talk:

Ming: There is something wrong with me. I’m ruining your life.
Me: There is nothing wrong with you and you are not ruining my life.
Ming: Then why does this keep happening?
Me: Because you keep losing your temper with me and I keep overreacting.
Ming: I just want to make things perfect and it never works.
Me: Yes, and that includes me?
Ming: Yes, well, no – I just want you to be happy.
Me: Well I just want you to be happy too. But you are a bully!
Ming: I think we should go back to counselling.
Me: I agree.
Ming: Sometimes when I wake up, I just want to go back to sleep.
Me: Same here.
Ming: I want to be a child again.
Me: So do I, sort of.
Ming: Am I really harder for you than Dad?
Me: Physically, no, mentally, yes – emotionally, about the same.
Ming: But I’m only trying to help.
Me: By nagging me, reprimanding me, trying to control me, yelling at me?
Ming: You said we’d leave today at 11am.
Me: So we left at 11.10am – was that a tragedy?
Ming: No, but you’re always letting me down – you never want to leave the house.
Me: I’m having a bad time with lethargy.
Ming: Same here.
Me: So we need a plan of attack. From now on we will make a daily plan for each day. We’ll do one chore together and one separately, schedule it into the day and allocate a definite time. Neither of us is allowed to renege or be late. We’ll write tomorrow’s plan tonight and sign it like a contract.
Ming: That’s what I’ve been saying for ages, Mum – teamwork!
Me: Okay, I don’t particularly like that word but yes, you are right.
Ming: Shake hands then?
Me: Okay.

We went on and did the rest of our town errands and got home smiling. I feel terrible about the horrible, cruelly sarcastic things I said to Ming, and for screaming at him like a psycho, and he feels terrible for his control-freaky temper, but maybe we had to have this crash in order to wake up.

I am hopeful.

Family Friendship

71 Comments »
Feb 17

Hugging

by jmgoyder

Everything else about today pales into insignificance compared to the hugs. I hugged Anthony when he was standing up and he let go of the walker and hugged me back. Then I hugged him while we were tackling his lunch and he pushed the food away and hugged me back. Then, as I was about to leave, I knelt down on the floor in front of his chair to kiss him goodbye and he enfolded me in his arms and gave me a bearhug. He brought my face into the hollow of his shoulder, kissed my hair, held me ferociously and whispered, “Jules, I love you so much.”

Usually the wasted muscles in his arms make hugging difficult, but not today! I am home now and can still feel that goodbye hug and I am trying very hard not to cry.

Family Friendship LOVE STORY

52 Comments »
Feb 16

The difference between what matters and what doesn’t matter

by jmgoyder

WHAT DOES MATTER

– Ming began harp lessons.
– Anthony said on the phone this afternoon that he’d been kidnapped, but I calmed him down.
– Some lovely friends came to pick the dying figs.
– Gutsy9 (baby peacock) is thriving despite his wonky leg.
– We found a clock man who has now fixed three of Anthony’s clocks, so the house is chiming again.
– I finished delivering details to our accountant for our tax return from last year.
– I am going to purchase an ipad tomorrow so I can access the internet in Anthony’s room and show him stuff.
– Ming and I are getting on top of the housework/yardwork etc.
– I only cried a little bit today, instead of a lot.
– The blog community is amazing.
– Ming has stopped being so bossy!
– Lots of other good things.

WHAT DOESN’T MATTER

– It doesn’t matter!

Animal blogging Family Friendship LOVE STORY Wings

64 Comments »
Feb 15

Farmboy 2

by jmgoyder

Ming was still in nappies when the dairy industry here was toppled by deregulation.

We were just one of hundreds of families affected by this and, without going into the politics, let me just say that it was devastating.

Previous to this, Anthony was a workaholic dairyfarmer (to me, those terms are synonymous.)

It was around this time that Ants was diagnosed with kidney cancer and had to have two operations. Our dairy days were over.

Ming never saw Ants in his prime, never saw Ants working, so he will never know the Anthony I knew.

And yet – and this is wonderful! – Ming is now milking for our beautiful neighbours and has been offered a full-time job as of July.

Like father, like son!

Family Friendship LOVE STORY

32 Comments »
Feb 15

Farmboy 1

by jmgoyder

It was about two years ago when our lives (Anthony’s, mine, and Ming’s) altered dramatically. Here is an abbreviated list of events, in no particular order:

1. Anthony’s Parkinson’s became so bad that he required hourly nursing care during the nights.
2. I eventually got exhausted and was hospitalized for a few days.
3. Ming’s scoliosis required surgery.
4. I had to take extended leave from my university job as a lecturer.
5. Ming completed his last year of school.
6. We found that the farming family, whose property adjoins ours, was willing to lease our 100 acres for the correct rent.
7. We withstood the continuing verbal abuse from our previous lessee who we had already kicked off for negligence etc.
8. With Anthony’s approval, I contacted our lawyer to prevent the previous lessee from coming onto the property.
8. We accepted that Ming would have to have surgery.
9. We accepted that Ants would have to go into a nursing lodge.
10. Ming began his Certificate in music and, simultaneously, began milking cows for the same people we are now leasing to.

Our farmboy’s journey began!

Ever since Anthony went into the nursing lodge, and Ming had his spinal surgery, life-as-we-knew-it has altered dramatically.

Animal Family Friendship LOVE STORY

30 Comments »
Feb 14

Role reversal

by jmgoyder

Tonight, when Ming and I were visiting Anthony and I was chopping his meal up, Ming said, sternly, “Mum, don’t you eat any of Dad’s food, or you won’t eat your dinner.”

You see, Ming had ordered takeaway pizza for tonight, and he had also ordered me to eat with him.

As Ming drove us home, I said, sulkily, “You’d make a great mum, Ming.”

“Don’t you touch that pizza until we get home, brat!” he said, flicking me a patronizing grin.

Arghhhhh!

Family Friendship LOVE STORY

29 Comments »
Feb 13

An amazing anniversary!

by jmgoyder

In just a couple of hours it will be Valentine’s day and the first anniversary of Ming’s spinal surgery. Yeeha!

I have put a few links to that saga below fyi.

Son’s surgery

Recovery

The ‘now’ of before, during, after ….

Family Friendship LOVE STORY

39 Comments »
«Older Entries
Newer Entries »
Blog at WordPress.com.