Peace.
A peacock’s crown
Apparently, in Hindu culture, the peacock’s crown symbolizes the music of the heart via the head. It’s interesting to watch Gutsy9’s little crown grow.
Bouncing back
It’s a bit difficult to bounce in yet another horrible heat wave, but Ming and I saw the doc this morning, agreed to undertake some treatment, including further counselling, then went to a restaurant for breakfast.
While we were away, a father/son lawnmowing team gobbled up 5 acres of overgrowth at a very reasonable rate, so the place is once again back in shape.
Yesterday, Ming and I went to see Anthony because I hadn’t seen him for a week due to not being allowed to bring my flu into the nursing lodge. We sat outside but the scene was not BradyBunchish; Ming plonked himself at a distance, scowling, while I sat on the grass next to Anthony’s chair with Gutsy9 (the baby peacock) scurrying between us and flying on and off Anthony’s lap.
I asked Ants to give Ming a pep talk but this didn’t work because Anthony’s concentration is now so poor. Oh well, he did try! It reminded me of when he was home because he was always the buffer if Ming and I had an argument about homework or eating vegetables etc.
Anthony’s big-hearted solidity often turned arguments into hilarity and taught us a lot about bouncing back, even though he can’t bounce at all anymore.
I missed him so badly last night that I almost couldn’t bear it, but today I am bouncing back.
Making friends with Despair
I’m not scared of Despair anymore because today she told me that she only wanted a tiny hug before she went to visit somebody else. She said she had tried to visit us before but the doors were always locked.
So I gave Despair an enormous hug, apologized for us locking the doors and, as she hugged me back, she wept into the crevice of my left elbow, then she gave me a short bit of advice.
I kept hugging her until I realized Despair had gone and I was hugging my silly self!
Translation: Despair’s visit catapulted me into seeking help. Tomorrow! Yeah, she was okay enough, but I don’t want her to come back.
False frivolity
I just wrote a rather frivolous post about my teenage son nagging me but the frivolity was false.
He is behaving badly but is too old to put in the naughty corner (we never had one of those).
I never expected to be tongue-lashed, hen-pecked, reprimanded and nagged by my own son!
How can the same boy be both muse and monster?
He hugs me then spits venom then disintegrates into guilt, then hugs me again.
I want to say to him cruel things – I want to say he is an ungrateful wretch.
An ailing father is no excuse. I have already given Ming too many doubt benefits.
My angel child needs his wings fixed or a punch in the nose.
Teenager, normal, okay.
Nag, nag, nag!
Ming just got back from Southbound http://www.southboundfestival.com.au/ a huge musical festival. He went with his two best mates and was away for two nights, so he wasn’t home for his 19th birthday (yesterday).
Did I miss him? No.
Was I lonely? No.
Would I have minded if he’d stayed away a bit longer? No.
Now don’t get me wrong. I adore him and he is a wonderful kid but he is also a NAG!
The first thing he said when he got home: “Why haven’t you cleaned your office out yet?”
Let me explain: my’óffice’is a tiny room at the back of the house that was once a junk room. Well now it is both an office and a junk room. Nevertheless it is my only totally private space – so private that I lock it when I am out.
Mr NAG wants to help me organize the office but the more he hassles me, the less inclined I am to sort it out. I seem to have some sort of mental block, possibly due to a deep psychological resistance to sorting out the paperwork of my life, or else pure laziness.
Nag, nag, nag!
I’m not eating THAT!
As a baby, then a toddler, then a kid beginning school, Ming had absolutely no interest in sustenance. It was a nightmare trying to breastfeed or get him to drink from a bottle and he seemed to be able to survive on air. It all worked out in the end but argh.
And now Gutsy9 is doing the same thing – so funny!
Close your eyes!
The other night I was watching a thriller on my laptop (before it died). Gutsy9, the baby peacock, was, as usual, on my shoulder and wide awake watching the screen. Suddenly, a scary scene erupted unexpectedly and, without thinking, I covered his big, innocent eyes with my hand.
I have always been a bit overprotective!
Note: Still using minilaptop while big one gets fixed so not keeping up as well as I would like to with other blogs and commenting, alas.
A haiku-ish poem
These small fingernails
Whisper up and down the spine
Of an opened book
Are you rose or weed?
Or are you an applecore
Filled with arsenic?
I don’t do poems
I can’t seem to write poems
This is a poem
Yesterday is grey
And tomorrow is today
There is a blue wind
A baby crying
The howl of a wolfling
Until the huge smile
The grass seems greener
Just outside my sunglasses
And a glass of red
Peachick near my heart,
Son away for his birthday,
Husband not here now
There are a few hells
And ours is extremely small –
A rotten peanut
Why? is a mute word
Are my sunflowers growing yet?
I didn’t plant them
A string of haiku
All of the syllables perfect
Full of emptiness
Until the storm blows
A big hole in the window
And now I can breathe
We have wings of steel
Lost and found in the debris
Of a blossom rain.
jmgoyder 