Every morning for the last week, I have been doing an average of two hours of nose aerobics. My nose is so keen, it wakes me up early sometimes.
The exercise routine never varies: 50 sneezes, half a box of tissues, a dose of antihistamines, 50 more sneezes, the remaining tissues, another dose of antihistamines until, eventually, my nose begins to relax.
As a result, my nose is now twice the size it was last week due to increased musculature.
Oh how I loathe summer hayfever!
I have discovered something wonderful and I’m sure Oprah will be contacting me soon to make me rich and famous.
Okay, we are all familiar with the list thing – shopping lists, chore lists, goal lists etc. But you know what the trouble is with these lists? They are too long!
My extensive research, case studies and social experimentation over the last three days have produced extraordinary findings! Yes, indeed, I have found the cure for lethargy!
The two candidates for this study were a teenage son and his mother who were becoming more and more depressed and, yes, lethargic, due to the grief they were experiencing when the husband/father figure went into a nursing home.
Neither the wife or son had been able to adjust happily to the new home dynamic despite having a close relationship. This was compounded by the son having to have major surgery and the mother losing her job.
Even a year after the husband’s admission to the nursing home, the son’s surgery and the mother’s loss of employment, all three were still struggling to accept the new status quo. All three were grieving in different ways and this resulted in numerous arguments with emotions running high, particularly between the mother and son. Both became exhausted and fell into a state of lethargy.
Then, three days ago, a plan was devised. Each day, the mother and son would write down a 3-point shortlist for the following day. This was done in a special notebook, almost like a contract. There would be one task that required both (we called that ‘mutual’), one task for the son, and one task for the mother.
The beauty of the shortlist is that it is ‘doeable'(is that a word?)
Okay, tongue out of cheek now – this is working, so watch this space!
Have you ever had a tug of war with your child over a piece of plastic?
Have you ever stopped your child from munching the remnants of a Morteined cockroach?
Has your child ever bitten you hard on the finger in a fit of temper?
Has your child ever smashed your nose with his when you try to put him to bed?
Have you ever had a child who likes to bite his toenails?
Have you ever had a child who refuses the food you lovingly prepare?
Have you ever had a child that prefers rolling around in the dirt to anything else?
If so, you probably have a baby peacock on your hands!
Note: Gutsy9 is a typical adolescent, which is great because he is getting his independence.
Gutsy9 is now over 3 months old (photos are from beginning to now). When we go outside he literally gallops after me, despite his crooked leg. This morning I left him inside while I filled the outside ponds because he could easily drown at this age. When I turned the hose off I heard this unearthly howl from the house – quite guttural – and it was him! His voice must have broken because usually, when he can’t see me, he just cheeps forlornly.
What an interesting experience!
Anthony’s wife is Julie.
Anthony’s son is Ming.
Julie’s husband is Anthony.
Julie’s son is Ming.
Ming’s father is Anthony.
Ming’s mother is Julie.
We are each others’ apostrophes.
And Gutsy’s mine.
Now don’t get too excited. I haven’t jumped onto the bike yet but I am dressed in my bike riding clothes (an old tracksuit I found which seems strangely snug but it will do.)
Okay, so the plan was to get up at 4.30am and follow Ming to the dairy (around 3kms away) but two things prevented this. Firstly, I didn’t wake up and, secondly, even if I had woken up, it was too dark.
I forgave myself and decided to ride around the block (around 7kms) later in the morning but Ming reminded me that I still didn’t have a helmet. And then I got a terrible attack of hayfever and I didn’t want to contaminate my new bike with nose drippings.
So now that it’s nearly noon, I will probably leave the ride until later when the wind dies down (yes, we are experiencing those awful easterlies that make cycling so difficult.)
In the meantime, here is a picture of Gutsy9 first thing in the morning, just before I get him out of his cot/cage and take him outside to play.
Tomorrow, I will go into town and buy a helmet and a basket to put Gutsy9 in on the bike. This afternoon I will do a few laps of the driveway again. I promise!
WHAT DOES MATTER
– Ming began harp lessons.
– Anthony said on the phone this afternoon that he’d been kidnapped, but I calmed him down.
– Some lovely friends came to pick the dying figs.
– Gutsy9 (baby peacock) is thriving despite his wonky leg.
– We found a clock man who has now fixed three of Anthony’s clocks, so the house is chiming again.
– I finished delivering details to our accountant for our tax return from last year.
– I am going to purchase an ipad tomorrow so I can access the internet in Anthony’s room and show him stuff.
– Ming and I are getting on top of the housework/yardwork etc.
– I only cried a little bit today, instead of a lot.
– The blog community is amazing.
– Ming has stopped being so bossy!
– Lots of other good things.
WHAT DOESN’T MATTER
– It doesn’t matter!
Don’t worry – this is not going to become a neverending series. It’s just that today’s incident was so funny.
An old friend of ours, who has a farm nearby, rang up the other day to see if Ming might be available for some odd jobs. Ming said yes so yesterday he had to drive a tractor (which he’s never done before but he learned fast) and today he was asked to come and help a cow who had just delivered a calf.
I think Ming might have anticipated patting the cow on the head or something but when he got back home after around two hours, he seemed a little shaken.
Apparently, the cow was unable to deliver the afterbirth, so Ming was told to reach inside and pull it out. So he did.
The cow is fine, the farmer is happy and Ming doesn’t want any lunch!
It was about two years ago when our lives (Anthony’s, mine, and Ming’s) altered dramatically. Here is an abbreviated list of events, in no particular order:
1. Anthony’s Parkinson’s became so bad that he required hourly nursing care during the nights.
2. I eventually got exhausted and was hospitalized for a few days.
3. Ming’s scoliosis required surgery.
4. I had to take extended leave from my university job as a lecturer.
5. Ming completed his last year of school.
6. We found that the farming family, whose property adjoins ours, was willing to lease our 100 acres for the correct rent.
7. We withstood the continuing verbal abuse from our previous lessee who we had already kicked off for negligence etc.
8. With Anthony’s approval, I contacted our lawyer to prevent the previous lessee from coming onto the property.
8. We accepted that Ming would have to have surgery.
9. We accepted that Ants would have to go into a nursing lodge.
10. Ming began his Certificate in music and, simultaneously, began milking cows for the same people we are now leasing to.
Our farmboy’s journey began!
Ever since Anthony went into the nursing lodge, and Ming had his spinal surgery, life-as-we-knew-it has altered dramatically.
Tonight, when Ming and I were visiting Anthony and I was chopping his meal up, Ming said, sternly, “Mum, don’t you eat any of Dad’s food, or you won’t eat your dinner.”
You see, Ming had ordered takeaway pizza for tonight, and he had also ordered me to eat with him.
As Ming drove us home, I said, sulkily, “You’d make a great mum, Ming.”
“Don’t you touch that pizza until we get home, brat!” he said, flicking me a patronizing grin.
Arghhhhh!
jmgoyder 